Tantric Sex 101

The word tantra is a Sanskrit word meaning woven together. Tantric Sex is a Hindu practice and sexual ritual that mixes meditation and non-orgasmic sex to attain a state of perfect bliss. Sounds deep right?

Well yes, but what is tantric sex really? Simply stated, it is the opposite of a quickie. There is no race to get to the orgasm finish line. There is no more obsessing about when you will finally reach climax.

The goal of practicing tantric sex is to develop ways of delaying orgasm and manipulating the ability to control climax. Practitioners claim the key to successfully delaying orgasm is by having slow sex with your partner, controlling your breathing, and keeping mentally focused.

Tantra is different from western ideas about sex in some other important ways. Our western concept of sex is like a story with a clear beginning (sexual excitement), middle (penetration), and end (orgasm). This is the way it’s supposed to be and if you don’t follow the story, something is wrong. Sex without penetration is often viewed as being "not real” or “merely” foreplay.

In Tantric sex the point of sex is not orgasm, the point is to feel. There is no clear cut beginning middle or end. Most of the exercises related to Tantric sex involve slowing things down, trying not to focus on our external body, or orgasm, or anything outside of our experience of the moment.

Without a focus on orgasm, the goal becomes increased awareness leading to greater understanding of ourselves, which eventually leads to enlightenment. There is no pressure to "get over the top". This doesn't mean that orgasm doesn't exist in Tantra, it just isn't the be all and end all. The spiritual practice and the good sexual feelings are inter-related, each leading back to, and improving the other.

What Tantric sex “looks like” will be different for different people. A key feature of Tantric sex is the importance of breathing, and slowing down sexual behavior compared to our hectic, orgasm-focused North American approach.

Are you ready for a tantric encounter?